Things You Should Never do for Your Kids
As a parent, especially being a new parent is an exciting emotion and brings with its many responsibilities. Whether you desire to be a lenient or a strict parent; a giver or a scolder a disciplined or a loose parent and much more. However, being too permissive or overbearing can have an incredibly detrimental effect on your child’s personality. Most parents often have the child’s best interest in their minds and want their kids to lead the most comfortable life they can provide. However,these can lead to negative results as well making the child totally dependent on the parents and hence unable to develop important life skills. A few things hence parents should never do for their kids.
8 Things you Should Never do for Your Kids
1. Homework or School Projects
Helping kids with schoolwork or projects is one thing, doing it for them is something entirely different. Not only is it unfair to your child’s peers and teachers, it is also unfair to your child as he or she doesn’t get to learn from the problems and obstacles that homework and school projects present them with. Each homework assignment or a school project is designed to challenge the child’s intellect, boost his knowledge and give him the skills to face life as an adult. Even if you personally feel the child’s homework or project is too difficult for him, refrain from doing it for him. You can still give him plenty of encouragement for his effort to keep him motivated.
2. Help them Cheat or Break Rules
Even if you feel like your child would be better off cheating, lying or breaking a rule to get ahead in a competition or test or situation, you should never actively encourage it. Children love testing rules and pushing boundaries themselves and breaking a few rules is an important part of the growing up process. If you help them cheat or break rules you, they may be tempted to break the rules that you have set for them.
3. Choose their Friends
A child’s friends are a reflection of their current emotional state. Even if you think that other kids are a bad influence for your child, you need to acknowledge that there is a reason why your child needs them or wants them as friends. Your perception of your child’s needs and wants may be different from his own and his taste in friends too might be vastly different from what you think is right. If you feel that your child is hanging out with friends that are wrong with him, may cause him harm in the long run or expose him to harmful experiences, you should seriously get to the root of the problem and explore why your child feels the need to hang with a particular type of crowd.
4. Speak for them
Speaking for the child may seem like the right thing to do in certain situations, but it seriously undermines the child’s confidence in himself. Not allowing the child to speak for himself or putting words in his mouth may frustrate him and make him feel unheard or unappreciated. Speaking for the child also hampers the development of the child’s language skills and may hamper the development of their social skills as well.
5. Support them when Wrong
Children often do what they desire and deem right in situations but when it comes to seeking whether what they did was right or wrong, they find solace in their parent’s judgment. Sanctioning their decision and action as right or wrong is your moral responsibility as parents. Supporting your child when he is right is an encouragement which is highly desirable but condemning him when he is wrong is also a necessary trait. Supporting the kid no matter what their action and what the consequences can lead to poor judgment skills of the child later in life.
6. Underestimate them
Children are like clay; anything that falls on them makes an impression. Kids are in the budding age of trying and learning stage. Not all experiences of theirs or all actions are positive but it is required on your part as parents to always keep them kindled with curiosity. appreciating the kid for his efforts and encouraging him to do better; rather than just bashing his current situation and hence hindering growth. Never underestimate your child, rather guide him through.
7. Give them Everything they want, pay heed to their every Request
Every demand does not require a supply. Kids have more wants than needs. It is the responsibility of the parent to see which want of the kid needs to be catered to and which ignored. Not all wants and desires of the kids should be entertained. This would give them the message of getting anything they want by hook or by crook and not learn to work for the same. Every request of the kid needs to be carefully scrutinized and worked upon.
8. Fight their Fights for them
Disagreements and falling outs are a part of each and everyone’s life. Children often seem to rarely come to terms with their fellow mates. This may lead to heated arguments and at times lead to some sort of physical violence on a small scale as well. Parents should not involve themselves in these petty fights unless they are a big deal. Let the kids deal with the problem among themselves and learn and grow with it as well. Parents fighting the children’s fights will make the kids dependent on their parents for life.
Of course, the love between a parent and a child exists; That’s a given. However maintaining that love and bond along with the disciplining the child is also important. Kids are very impressionable and hence it is advised to especially take care of your activities around them. Help is required by them but instead of doing their tasks for them, support them and help them become responsible and careful being rather than dependent, experienced devoid members oft the society.