7 Tips for Dads on the Verge of Divoce
‘Divorce’ is a word that is being used more and more frequently. It’s comparatively less complected when it’s just the two- husband and wife, to consider. But, when it becomes mom and dad, the picture gets a bit complicated. Divorce comes with a lot of emotional baggage.
Arriving at the decision is the hardest thing and we know the struggle well. So, here are a few tips to help the dad’s stuck in the struggle.
The most complicated thing is arriving at the decision, especially because there are kids to think of. The best course sometimes is to ask for a third party to get involved. Things get untangled when matters of concern are laid out in the open. You can start by going to a marriage counsellor with your spouse and later include the kids in your sessions. Do not be all for breaking the relationship, try to salvage it because there are ups and downs to everything.
Every kid senses when the waters are rough for their parents, call it intuition but they do. So, have a talk with them and let them know about the impending decision as is appropriate for their age. In fact, even more than age the thing which matters is their maturity level. Explain it to them as if they are your equal because whatever goes on with you effects them as well.
A Weekend to yourself
Sometimes all you need to do is rediscover yourself. Try and take a break from all the thoughts and complications and spend the weekend with your buddies .Go clubbing or go drinking. It’s like realizing that there is also an individual to yourself. Guy talk helps as well. Some ‘Me time’ helps you put things in perspective. There might be a lot of clutter there in your mind with so many things going on so just try to relax for a day and then start working on your thoughts with renewed enthusiasm.
This might sound strange but this is the most logical thing to do. Come to think of it, the root of the problem is the tangle of relationships. Go on a family holiday and let your family know that just because you have encountered a rough spot does not mean that everything has to topple down on your head. Like you, your kids need a break too. They need to see you as normal as ever. So, go on a holiday and enjoy.
Acceptance of the fact
You know divorce is nothing to be ashamed of if you are considering it. Some couples decide to stay together even if things are not working out because they are afraid of society’s reaction and the effect it might have on their kids. Never, and we mean never be forced into being ashamed of your decision and teach your kids the same thing. Understand that it is for you to decide about your relationships.
Family remains family
This would be critical time for the family. Yes, your relationship with your spouse might not be working out but never let your kids feel that your relationship with them is not working out as well. They need to know that you would always have all the time in the world for them and that they can always approach you because even if the world ends you will still be their dad and their favourite super-hero!
Issues with the spouse
Your issues with your spouse are things between a husband and wife. Things between dad and mom will always be the same. So think of these as two different things while discussing your issues. Try to work things out between yourselves but not because the of ‘together-for-the-kids’ excuse but because you really want things to work out.
There will always be ups and downs in your life but try to work them out because at the end of the day you will always be a family.