9 Signs You Are Spoiling Your Toddler
Parenting is an art and you need to carry it out delicately and consciously. You might not know when you are holding back from your kids and when you are overdoing it. You need to guide your children balancing both the above-mentioned aspects.
Afraid as a parent, of spoiling your kids? Unfortunately, it’s your child who comes out on the short end of the stick. Spoiled kids grow into spoiled adults who are selfish and self-centered, thinking they are entitled to do everything. The society does not accept adult tantrums.
So, if you want to raise responsive kids, you should be aware of the following signs that tend to spoil your child.
1. Fulfill all the wishes of your child
As a parent, you wish to fulfill all your child’s desires, even if it is beyond your budget. You do it because you want your child to have everything which you didn’t experience as a kid. But fulfilling all his wishes can sometimes backfire. Your child may be prevented from considering other people’s desires. They may not understand the value of objects and sometimes relationships. They often expect for new things instead of being satisfied with what they already have. It might lead to a problem of insatiable desires.
2. Ignoring positive behavior and rewarding negative behavior
It is possible that because of your busy lifestyle, you may not pay attention to your child when he is playing quite without causing you any trouble or involving you in his daily routine. This, however, may lead you to not know what your child is up to. This would mean you are missing the opportunity to appreciate his positive behavior.
Simultaneously you may run to attend him when he cries. Here, you are sending the message that tantrums and tears are the right means to draw your attention. This means that you are rewarding the negative acts of your child.
3. Failing to enforce rules consistently
If you fail to enforce rules for good behavior, your child is more likely to be rude, uncooperative and disobedient. Toddlers are uncivilized by nature and need to be trained for good manners with good parenting skills. Say, you are letting your child play with his food on some days, but not letting him do the same at other times. In this case, you are sending the message that rules are not that important and easily bendable.
4. Refusing to hold your child accountable
When your child commits a mistake or lies to you, you might think of him too innocent to know anything and refuse to hold him responsible for the act. This sends him the message that whatever he does is accepted. He also learns to blame others for his mistakes. Instead, you should hold your child accountable for his actions and explain to him what he did wrong and how. Let him know he can come to you whenever he has done something wrong rather than hiding it from you, or blaming it on others.
5. You offer too much help
Sometimes when you find your child is lost or frustrated, you would jump in and help right away. This is one of the reasons for your child to get spoiled. They learn not to do things on their own and come to rely on you for everything from getting dressed to eating. You should encourage your child to handle his things himself; this would help him to develop confidence in himself and become independent.
6. Failing to be a role model
Children are like wet clay, anything that falls on them leaves an impression on them. So, if you shout, slam doors or interact badly with your family, your kids will emulate that. Kids normally do what they see happening around them and not what they are asked to do. Hence, always be polite to other members of the family and be more respectful to each other when your kids are around.
7. Giving into temper tantrums
Different children have different types of responses when faced with rejections, scoldings or anger. Some cry, some keep quiet and some throw tantrums. Giving into temper tantrums makes your child learn that they could get anything they like by throwing a fit. You are spoiling and misguiding your kid in this regard as this does not always work in real life.
8. Begging your child for some work
In case you need to beg your child for any work you want to get out of him/her, is an indication that you are spoiling your child. You are the elder or the authority figure of the house and you need to absolutely make sure that your kid knows it and respects you, obeying your requests rather than making you beg for the same and completing the task in time.
9. Bribing your kid
You do not need to buy your kids happiness and love. If you seem to be buying expensive clothes or games for your child to get each and every other thing done, one, it will make the kid believe that’s how the world works, which he’ll learn the hard way that it does not and second, it lose the motivational effect intended to be made. Also, if your kid ignores you until he gets what he wants or until you bribe him, just know you are spoiling him.
Granting every wish of your child could have serious repercussions; while you think you are just being a good parent to your kid, it may have severe psychological effects on the development of her/his personality which might make him selfish, greedy and turn him into an insatiable being. Although, if your child is already on his way of getting spoiled, all is not lost. As a parent, you can still adopt certain ways that would raise him to be a disciplined and responsible human being.